The weekend is once again upon us. As we sit at our desks waiting for our final dismissal, our minds might turn to what we will be drinking tonight.
For today’s post, I would like to focus on Beer. Last night I had the chance to taste many different beers at the Meddlsome Moth. If you like beer, this is the place for you- with 40 draught beers on tap and 75 bottles, the possibilities are endless. After testing many beers, and after many bitter beer faces, I decided that I like “blonde” beers. I started wondering- what does this say about me?
You wouldn’t believe it, but the beer you drink says a lot about you -- even before you've had a few too many. Research shows that your choice of beer can be as telling about your personality as what kind of clothing you wear or the car that you drive. And if you don't drink suds at all, or change brands depending on your mood -- well, that says something too.
Thanks to AdAge.com, here’s some great information:
People who prefer domestic beers over craft beers or imports are generally middle of the road in their politics. They're not nearly as conservative as people who don't drink beer at all, but not as liberal as people who prefer more exotic beer.
People who drink a broad portfolio of beers are different than one-brand drinkers as well. Those "indifferent" beer drinkers are more open-minded and emotional people who enjoy a variety of life experiences. They might be the types of people who would identify with a marketing campaign like that of Dos Equis: "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis."
So what does liking blonde beers say about me? I still don’t know, and my head hurts too bad today to continue my research. But if you don’t drink beer, I think you are missing out- here’s what your abstainer attitude says of you:
It probably doesn't take a psychographic profile to discover that those people who refuse to drink beer at all don't like to loosen up very much. They are socially conservative and see many issues as black and white. Teetotalers honor tradition and authority and prefer a less-hectic social life. People who turn down beer are 50% more likely to call themselves Republican, and are 30% more likely to never buy organic products.
Um, total bore in my book. They probably LIKE getting ICED. (Oh great, my favorite malt beverage!)
Cheers to the weekend! Here are some other fun facts… I am sure you’ve all been through all five stages. My favorite is “invisible.” I get like this… I will stare at people- and it’s like I think they can’t see me. AWKWARD. And unfortunately, stage 2 has been taking me the other route lately… lately, when I begin drinking and catch a glimpse of me in the mirror, I get scared. “Good lord you look rough and need to go home.” Hopefully this changes soon, because this feeling usually leads to more drinks.
STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS
Stage 1 - SMART: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING: This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH: This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF: You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE: This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART and you know all the words.