Monday, July 26, 2010

Top 10

It’s Monday again. The day where I find myself working hard…or should I say hardly working. Here are some fool proofs steps to fake your co-workers out on those days where you just can’t seem to get going.

…White Wine & Glowsticks presents the top 10 ways to look busy at work:

1. Complain that you’re totally swamped at every opportunity. Use phrases like “up to my ass in alligators” and “jumping from one fire to another” to make your job sound kind of sexy and dangerous.

2. Carry a piece of paper wherever you go. To give yourself the necessary urgent facial expression and body language, imagine it’s something incredibly important, like a stay of execution from the governor.

3. Never clean your cubicle. After all, if you had any spare cycles you wouldn’t let yourself live like a pig.

4. Emailing looks like work. Email friends and family often. (or gchat…blog….,etc.)

5. If you wear glasses, leave an old pair on the desk as though you will be right back. Then go home. (I personally work with one of these… but he just leaves his light on. I was fooled for the first 8 months I worked with him!)

6. Bitch about your job as much as possible. This is considered work even though it’s fun.

7. Walk really fast when you are going anywhere as to appear something important is going to happen.

8. Carry a notebook with you at all times- seems like you are suppose to be somewhere taking notes. If you are at your desk, keep it open with a pen on it.

9. Try to get sent out of the office for assignments. When you're out of the office, nobody knows what you're doing. If your assignment will take two hours, add a two-hour cushion for traffic. Now you're on a four-hour assignment.

10. And last but not least- if someone asks that trick question, “are you busy?” NEVER say, no. Always answer with, “I am, but I can make time for you.”

Best of luck, and yes, we did go to college for this.

1 comment:

  1. the tps report. awesome! story of my rpi life. constantly working on something pointless. and thanks for #10! so key! i never do that. i usually reply that i'm NOT busy. never again, NEVER again.