Yesterday, I ate half of a half pound venison burger killed by one of my closest friends. I dropped an F bomb at the dinner table, talked about MASH, watched South Park, and finished the evening with talk of breast implants over a beer.
Today, I set up my cable - with HD. I called my HOA and argued with someone. I went to Lowe's on my lunch break. Bought lighting and boxes. Managed a big blue flat cart (barely, but managed). Got all of that stuff into my car and wiped some sweat from my brow. Stopped at sonic for lunch - paid cash. Had my windshield replaced in my office parking lot by a guy named Jason wearing Ed Hardy who gave me a lesson in knives and glue. Thanks Jason.
However...
1. I have a 5.8 pound chihuahua
2. I blush when I curse
3. I support hunting because I believe it is a humane, organic means of getting very healthy meat from animals that have lived fulfilling lives, not in cages (ask me more about this later), which is why I ate the venison burger, but won't eat chicken
4. I miss my dad when I am: 1) pushing/carrying anything heavy; 2) dealing with anything involving my car; 3) using any kind of tool; 4) at Lowe's
5. The only part I enjoyed about my trip to Lowe's today was spending money on things I thought were pretty
6. Jason called me honey
7. I did it all of this while wearing a skirt
On the scale of manly, I think today I score about a 4. Too high people. I am working to get back down to my usual -7 over the next 96 hours by attending book club at a wine bar, spending the weekend in Oklahoma at a baby shower and a wedding shower, blushing at every mention of anything gross, and giving my 5.8 pound chihuahua thousands of kisses.
Wish me luck.
SES
No comments:
Post a Comment