Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Big Bird Okay...Little Bird Stay Away

Growing up I was a huge fan of Sesame Street. Over the years I developed a fondness for many of the characters, but none of them came close to my devotion to Big Bird himself. I cried every time I watched Follow that Bird during the "blue bird" scene, and I almost peed in my pants from excitement when I saw him at Sesame Street Live...TWICE.

Strangely enough, over the years I have developed a strong distaste for actual real life birds. Especially pigeons and crows. I can't say I am afraid of them like my dear friend Alexis, I mean I did allow about 50 pigeons to eat out of my hand in Venice...TWICE. But, I think birds are sick, nasty animals and I really really don't like to be around them. With the exception of a giant canary who is best friends with Snuffleupagus, please stay away. I'm just not a fan of your kind.

Yesterday I returned home from work to my new place. This marked my first commute from Addison to the M Streets. Not awesome, but not bad. When I got home I walked up to my front door and reached for my keys, only to discover that I didn't need them, because the door was already open...My heart started racing, but I soon realized the only trespasser was the wind, and that Paul was safe and sound in his "room" (aka the kitchen). So I grabbed the little man and took him outside. When I returned I did a quick search of his "room" for any accidents.

Well, Paul had been decidedly good that day and held number one and number two. But, some other little creature had not done so. Who, you might ask? Well a little nasty brown bird that had flown in my door, thanks wind, and had perched on my trash can and shit all over my floor. Not giant, not yellow, and certainly not friendly like the only kind of bird I care for. This one, was just yuck.

My poor little chihuahua ran away from the damn thing and started to shake. So i grabbed him and waited outside for the closest thing I have to a zoo keeper, Liz Stutts, who was dropping off some of my stuff. She grabbed the nasty little thing and threw it outside. I kept my distance, and almost threw up.

Now, this might be something that most of you think is a once in a lifetime experience. Not so. This has happened to me TWICE. Years ago when I worked at Dream Haven in Norman a huge crow flew into the store (and by huge crow I mean really just a little wren). I stood in the corner while it crapped all over the place and shed some disease ridden feathers on the floor, and then waltzed right out the way it had flown in.

If this happens again...I am throwing a skillet at the little shit.

Stay away from me poultry,



  1. Very well-written post, Beara. I cannot believe you used to pee your pants in excitement over Big Bird...he just never really did it for me. I sort of equate him with Ronald McDonald - also not hot. Of the two photos you posted, I have to say I'd be a lot more creeped out if I came home to find that giant yellow bird in my house than the tiny, cute brown bird, but I do agree that neither bird is preferable. Hope your locks get fixed soon so the wind won't trespass anymore - love that.

  2. How the heck did the wind blow open your door? Did you have them locked? Birds are disgusting. I raised Bertha and her kids on my balcony till one day, I had to say, "NO MORE." This is a great story!

  3. Okay, Courtney, you have a great point there. I would probably die if I came home and big bird was sitting on my trash can in my kitchen.